This Pain

This pain is what keeps me sain....

               alive even,

        i know i shouldn't be

     doing this thing to myself

         but its the only thing

     that makes everything else

                disappear

  even if just for a few seconds.....

             no put it down,

            just put it down! 

i have to stop doing this to myself....

      what if someone notices? 

           what if they see?

          who i really am......

            ill be all alone,

  even lonelier than i am now...

       i cant do this anymore. 

            i have to stop,

               just stop!

but this pain just  feels so good,

         i cant help myself,

           here i go again, 

         i put it to my wrist, 

     the pain shoots through, 

            for a moment 

     i forget why my life is so 

             miserable...

             its......gone,

          the pain is gone,

       ill be back again soon,

          having this same

          argument with

              myself.....

    but good will never win,

    this pain will take over,

             this pain

    will be my only friend.