Driving by

Driving by in the fall and seeing the houses of the less fortunate

and realizing how lucky i really am.

Driving by in the spring and seeing the houses of the wealthier then I

and i start to dream about what could never be.

Driving by in the summer and seeing the trees,

beautiful and full of gorgeous leaves.

Driving by in the winter and finding beauty

in the baren lifeless trees all around.

Driving by and finding the real me.

Takeing A Break

"Me and your mother have decided that we are going to take a break from parenting for a while, but we will still whoop ass if we have too"

*in my head*

So your taking an official "break" huh that statements a little late. i figured you were "taking a break" from the first time you never came home.  you've put us though a lot, me and Cory. I've aged so much were I'm not even a teenager anymore. And sure I can take care of myself but what about Cory? A ten year old who desperately needs his mom and dad? You've left him with no other choice but to look to me as a mother. Have you even put any thought into this decision of yours? I'm already depressed this is just going to worsen it. Cory already wants to run away and where will you be when I can't stop him? Definitely not here. So go ahead stop parenting"for a while" go around and act like a teenager again but don't be surprised when you "out of nowhere" lose one of us> Because with those words you sealed the deal

 *back in the real world*

"O.K."

Ignorance

From a very young age we are taught not to worry about anything, that the world is perfect, and everything will be always turn out right. As we grow up we very slowly realize that everything that we were taught to believe in was a lie. We learn that the world is full of crap, and we learn that if we aren't concerned or worried about something chances are nobody else will. And finally, the grand finale, the biggest lie of all time. EVERYTHING WILL ALWAYS TURN OUT RIGHT.Well guess what it doesn'twe don't always get the help we need or the love we deserve and sometimes the bad guys get away. and maybe this wouldn't traumatize as many people if everyone was honest from the get-go.If everyone didn't sugarcoat everything but who knows maybe that small time frame when our life was full of ignorance is really bliss. But who the hell knows, certainly not me because I practically skipped that small window of opportunity. Why did I have to grow up so fast?

P!nk - F**kin' Perfect

I dont know

I dont know what to do

I dont know what to think

I dont know if what I feel is right

I just dont know

I dont know wether or not to keep doing this or not
I dont know what to do about my thoughts
I dont know if I should like you the way that i do
I just dont know
I dont know 

Blank

blank, i am blank

i have nothing to say or do

nothing to live for

well, maybe one thing

maybe that person is you

you fill me with happiness

not the kind that i pretend to have

real, true happiness

you make me laugh

really laugh not the one i force

you make me smile

and its not the one i fake

you make me feel better when I'm sad

which all of the time now

i think i love you but I'm not quite sure

blank, i am blank....

but not around you

senses

nothing, its all around me. i hear nothing, i smell nothing, i taste nothing and nobody sees me. the only thing that i can feel is loneliness and pain,. i don't know what to do. silence is all around me, even though no one is. invisibility, i sit here with people next to me yet i am alone. tasteless, i have never tasted a kiss from someone who loves me and probably never will. nothing comes close enough for me to touch or smell. Pain and suffering surround me, they are the only things i feel. i am nothing.

I fall apart

i never know what to do because I'm always in the dark

i need someone to help me find the light because

every now and then i become as lonely as a ghost

every now and then i get a little bit terrified that the best times of my life have passed me by

without even saying goodbye

every now and then i need someone to help me hold myself together

to tell me that everything is going to be alright

every now and then i become tired of listening to the sound of my tears

every now and then i want someone to take away the pain

every now and then i  just fall apart

every now and then i become a little bit helpless and your never here to help me survive

every now and then i know that i have to getaway from everyone so that i can cry

i never know what to do because I'm always in the dark

i need someone to help me find the light because

every now and then i fall apart



anouther one of my own drawings