Why?

                                 

Why?

Its a never ending question.

Why is everybody blind?

Why am i always alone?

Why?

Everybody asks it.

Why did you leave me?

Why did I let you go?

Why I want this question to go away.

Why do  I cut myself?

Why do I cry myself to sleep?

   Please tell me why?

Blindness

blindness, its a very common disease

even people who can "see" can catch it

I know this because no one can see me dress darker every day

no one can see the way i always hide my arms from view

everyone is blind to people like me

an outcast

i wonder when they'll finally open there eyes?

and see that there are other people who are struggling in this world

besides them?

i don't think they ever will though

because they are blind.

Life & Death

"Death is peacefull, easy. Life is harder."

-Bella, Twilight

Death is a beautiful thing.

It can be easy and peacefully

or it can be hard and painful.

Life is much much harder

with all its complications,

it's a b*tch

So come let go with me

we'll enter into the peaceful

oblivion of death

together, forever.

Secretly Dieing

I am secretly dieing inside,

and for a number of reasons to.

1. is because i am invisible
2. is because i am alone
3. is because the darkness is consuming me and
4. is because my world is falling to pieces

i endure this daily pain,

that will not dissipate.

this darkness that is spreading,

doubles my pain

which makes my secret death slow

i am invisible, i am alone

which also plays a part in my secret murder.

i am secretly dieing

goodbye...

Darkness

Darkness is what burns in my soul,

I wish it would go away.

Darkness is what is takeing over my life,

I will it to go away.

Darkness is part of whats killing me inside,

I want it to go far away,

and stay there....

Writing

Writing, writing, writing,
into the middle of the night.
i can not stop writing.
what is wrong with me?
why do these ideas keep pouring out of my hand,
like the the rain from clouds after a long drought?
i suppose its a good thing though, to write....
But i need my sleep,
my precious sleep that i not so often posesse. 
instead i just lay here,
writing, writing, writing
into the depths of the blackest 
of all nights.

Sleep

Sleep, Sleep intoxicating sleep,

I need you desperately.

Why have you taken such a long vacation from me?

You've been away from me for so long,

even my nightmares have become  reality.

Please sleep, come back to me.
deeep, sweet, intoxicating sleep

I long for you

but, more than likely,

will never have you
       *sleep*

My despair

my despair, it worsens over time.

it grows, festers, and infects the deepest parts of my soul,

and refuses to loosen its grip.

Why can't it just go away?

I long to be happy again,

to put this pain and suffering

far,far,far behind me.

Please despair, just go away.

Your turning me into an outcast,

causing me to be invisible.

Please despair, your

slowly.....

 painfully....

                                                                            killing....
                                                                              me...                                                                       

Black Veil Brides

ok so I recentlly discovered this band, its called Black Veil Brides.They are a rock band with an insanley hot lead singer named Andy Six (see  picture on the left ;) ).I really like there music for the fact that they sing about the difficulties us teenagers have to face every day (exp. teasing, "love", desperation, and things like that).they recently released a new album called We Stich These Wounds.Which includes songs like The Morticians Daughter, Never Give In, Carolyn, Heaven's Calling and Knives and Pens.Out of these songs my personal favorites are Knives and Pens, the Morticians Daughter, and Never Give In.

nothing good ever lasts

one of my own drawings

What is this?

Its wonderful

Wait! I hear laughter

Who is laughing?

Oh my gosh its me!

I cant believe this!

I haven't laughed in ages!
It's the best feeling in the world,
Laughter.
Wait! Whats happening!

Oh No, It's Slipping! 

It's Slipping though my bear hands!

Come Back!

I need you!

It's gone....

Now that I know what it feels like to be truly happy,

I'll never be the same again.

My pain will worsen,

Because I'll always want what i can't have,

True Happiness.

Never Will

i doodled this in science class one day
i think it describes me well....

I cry and no one sees,

They think it's

Inconsequential,

The reason there falling is,

Fear

But because of them,

A secret beauty is

Dieing

trying to break

Free

But it never will.

This Pain

This pain is what keeps me sain....

               alive even,

        i know i shouldn't be

     doing this thing to myself

         but its the only thing

     that makes everything else

                disappear

  even if just for a few seconds.....

             no put it down,

            just put it down! 

i have to stop doing this to myself....

      what if someone notices? 

           what if they see?

          who i really am......

            ill be all alone,

  even lonelier than i am now...

       i cant do this anymore. 

            i have to stop,

               just stop!

but this pain just  feels so good,

         i cant help myself,

           here i go again, 

         i put it to my wrist, 

     the pain shoots through, 

            for a moment 

     i forget why my life is so 

             miserable...

             its......gone,

          the pain is gone,

       ill be back again soon,

          having this same

          argument with

              myself.....

    but good will never win,

    this pain will take over,

             this pain

    will be my only friend.

Invisableity

everyone talks about how cool it would to be invisible

they talk about what they would do and who they would be

but me i just sit there and say you have no idea

because i am invisible and its absolutely horrible

with no to talk to with no one who cares

with absolutely no one its like im slowly dieing on the inside 

its like im standing in the middle of a crowded room

slowly being murdered and no one looks my way

because i am invisible...